Week 15 Peer Review

John:

So I was a little confused by your last post… I hope this isn’t a true story. It’s pretty disturbing near the end. If it isn’t real it’s still a little strange to write that graphically for class. Hope you’re okay.

Kayla:

“All Conquers Love” was a very eye opening piece. I didn’t expect it to go the way that it did, but in this case the element of surprise made it good. For a while I thought the two characters would end up together, but then the separation of different faiths made the ultimate difference. This post tapped into faith in a different and interesting way. “Even I Have Them” was written in a really unique way that I liked a lot. The fact that I was unsure what you were talking about at first was intriguing. Then when it was revealed that it was books, it was fun to reevaluate the beginning. Both of these posts really showed your ability as a writer, good job!

Kimberly:

I really enjoyed reading “The Sage of the Lost Purse”. The way you set it up in comic form was really fun and made the story have a whole new level of interesting. I’ve been in that situation with my wallet before, and having it returned in tact is just the best feeling. You really captured that and made it a very successful post. “I Had a Mother Who Read to Me” was very touching. I also had a mother who read to me, and it’s extraordinary what a difference in can make in your perception of books. The way you explained your progressive love of books made this post exciting and meaningful. I enjoyed both of your posts this week very much, and I can tell how much your writing means to you. Nice job!

Dinosaurs

Normal little girls played with Barbies. They liked to dress up dolls, braid hair, and snuggle teddy bears. Normal little girls liked things that were pink and with flowers. However, I was a little different than most normal little girls. Not only did I reject the mere sight of a Barbie, I preferred something a little more towards the masculine side. I, in my childhood, had a very strange obsession with dinosaurs. Not just the cute ones with the long necks, but everything from a t-Rex to a triceratops and a pterodactyl. It was a big strange for a little girl, but boy did I love my dinosaurs.

I’m not really sure what it was that made them more interesting to me than any other animal. I think it had something to do with the fact that they were extinct. Maybe in the back of my mind I figured I had better get my play time in with them now since I’ll never play with them in real life. I think I also liked the power they had – the fact that they ruled the earth for millions of years before we did?! I mean, how cool is that? Sometimes I would make them battle with each other, and sometimes they got along. Sometimes they could talk, and sometimes they spoke in rawwwwr’s. Whatever it was, I always managed to play with them for hours.

My favorite was a guy named Rex. I bet you can guess what kind of dinosaur he was by the name. I remember one day Rex and I were out with my mom, because I took him everywhere, and I ended up leaving him at a restaurant. I couldn’t get him back, and this led to hours and hours of crying. Then a couple days later, my mom showed up out of the blue with Rex! I was so happy. It wasn’t until years later she told me she’d bought a new Rex from the store and hadn’t actually found the original like she’d said. I still have my dinosaurs somewhere in a box at my parent’s house, and I plan on keeping them. Who knows, maybe I’ll have a strange little girl one day that likes dinosaurs just as much as I did.

Coachillin'

Sometimes I get in these moods. These analytical, intrusive moods. And during these moods, all I can think about are the things I don’t like about myself. I think of the mistakes I’ve made, the things I should have never said, and the things I didn’t say but I should have. I wonder if people actually like the person I am, or if they say things about me behind my back. I think about if it’s possible to change these things I don’t like, or if I’m stuck the way I am forever. Occasionally I can remind myself of the things I do like, but lately I’ve just been in a funk. When I’m with my friends I can snap out of it, but being alone just really gets to me sometimes. I don’t much like being alone.

As you can probably tell, I needed a little escape. I needed some time to clear my head and some time get my confidence back. This is why I needed Coachella. For those of you who aren’t familiar, Coachella is an annual music festival in Indio, California. Myself and about ten of my friends were going, and I couldn’t have been more excited. Looking back, it was a weekend of no worries and no reality, a weekend of bliss and love and music. It was a time to clear my head and to realize what was really important in life – the air in my lungs, the friends at my side, and the beauty that was surrounding me every single day.

Coachella restored my faith in a lot of things, including myself. It was a weekend of pure happiness, and it reminded me that I was capable of feeling incredible. The whole weekend was people gathered around for the communal love of music and life, and the fact that these kind of things exist gives me faith in everything else. Now that I’m back, I want to keep the good vibes going. Where does feeling bad about myself get me? Nowhere. All I can do is try and be the best person I can be and treat people the way they deserve to be treated. I’m not saying I all of a sudden I love everything about myself, but I’m realizing it’s never too late to change and there’s always enough time to stop and smell the flowers.

Week 14 Peer Review

John:

“The Boring Job” entertained me a lot. I could tell you were enjoying writing about things you knew a lot about, and enjoying looking back on fond memories. It was crazy to hear that you actually operated machinery under the influence of these illicit substances and lived to tell the tale. These kind of insane experiences make for great writing, and this was definitely one of your most interesting tales. I’d have liked to hear certain details though, possibly your trippiest moment on the job. Your analysis of graphic novel memoirs had a lot of thought put into it. I also liked the fact that you were very honest in analyzing this form of writing and didn’t try and hide what you really thought.

Kayla:

“Orange Baseball” was a heartwarming piece that showed how close you are to your family. It was nice to read about a family tradition that you all obviously hold dear. Even though it’s a monotonous job, you added a sense of fun to it by showing the little tiffs and quirks that go along with it. I especially liked seeing the pictures that went with this post; it really added a nice visual to the story. I also really liked your analyzation of comic book memoirs. All of your points made a lot of sense when critiquing the particular style and I agree with almost all of what you said. I might have gone a little more into detail on the things you thought were good about this style though; there are a lot of positives to this kind of storytelling.

Kimberly:

“Tales From Your Neighborhood Grocery Deli” was a great piece. Your descriptions of everyone you work with were spot on – I could picture each person in my head as you wrote about them. The way you described your emotions in this post was really great as well. I know exactly how it is to be fed up at work, and you really nailed that feeling. I also liked how at the end you threw in a shocker about your previous customer going crazy; it really added a twist to the story. I agree with your interpretation about graphic novel memoirs. It’s a great way to get the point across about autobiographical feelings. One thing that might have added to this post is looking at the negatives, though. Are there any drawbacks to this kind of storytelling, or is it all positive?

Memoir Comics

Overall, I think writing personal memoirs can be a very effective way of autobiography, if it’s done correctly. Writing through comics can give visual representations to things that would otherwise have been left up to the reader’s interpretation. It displays exactly what the writer was thinking instead of having you guess. Comics can also add humor in unique ways that normal writing can’t. They can make a story interesting, that otherwise might have just been a boring day. Having something to look at while you read actually puts you in the story a lot more than just normally reading a book.

“Blankets” and “Pyongyang” are two great examples of pulling off comic memoirs. In “Pyongyang”, there’s a very sarcastic and opinionated tone the entire comic. This isn’t displayed through just the writing though, it’s the way that the writing corresponds to the pictures. For example, there’s a box titled “Looks like we’re in for a great time!” containing a man with a terribly dull and serious look on his face. In “Blankets”, the author uses the pictures in the comic to connect directly to the metaphors in the writing. The beautiful imagery of being blinded by the sun and of the snow melting fit in extremely well with the story line and the things the main character is going through.

There tends to be pros and cons with all forms of writing. One con about comic book writing a memoir is that important ideas might get cut out for lack of physical space. For a comic to look well there shouldn’t be a huge amount of writing and no room for the picture, so it creates a limitation. This also means the author has to pick and choose the things that go into the comic; you can’t necessarily convey every single idea. Some people might also find comics “childish” or prefer not to read them, limiting the range of audience the author can have. Although all of these things might take away from comic book writing a little bit, I still find it an extremely effective and entertaining way to write a memoir.

Instant Classic

Another day hungover in the sun at the car wash. Why did I sign up for this job again? Oh yeah, the tips are pretty awesome. But the sweating and the manual labor? I’m all for women’s rights and everything, but this job wasn’t meant for a girl. My friend Liz and I look at each other. Both of our eyes are screaming “thank God there’s no customers right now.” At least I have a partner in crime. Oh, I mean a partner in “work.”

A huge black truck pulls around the corner, ready to be washed. At first my heart sank. I actually had to work now? But then I realized I knew that truck. It was Jason’s truck, he’d came to visit.

“Thought I’d come to see you ladies in action! How much to clean my baby?”

“Ten bucks and a fifty dollar tip,” I reply as we greet with a hug.

After a few more minutes of talking and reminiscing and the previous night’s events, my boss comes out to see what’s going on. He doesn’t even have to say anything, his look says it all. He wants me to get to work, and he wants me to get to work now. I take the hint and pull the truck up to begin its wash. Jason comes to watch Liz and I go through the process – scrub, rinse, repeat. We’re joking around, Jason’s throwing bubbles at us, and we’re generally having a better time at work than usual. Until, of course, someone had to ruin it.

“Girls, exactly what is going on here?” my boss asked furiously, coming out from around the corner.

“We’re just going to rinse it and then put it right through,” Liz assured him with a laugh.

“You know, with your deplorable behavior lately, it doesn’t even seem like you ladies want to work here!”

Liz and I exchanged looks, but I spoke first.

“Well… the thing is, we don’t really want to work here. So… we’ll be leaving now.”

One shocked look, a quick rinse on the truck, and a peel out later, we were home free. The job really wasn’t worth the tips anyways. But the priceless look on car wash man’s face was. If I had to describe it, I’d say it was an instant classic kind of day.

Week 13 Peer Review

John:

“Staying Out of the Way” was very different from anything I’ve ever read from you before. It really shone through as a milestone in your work. Instead of being humorous and sarcastic, it was dark and thought provoking. I enjoyed seeing a different tone in the way you describe things. “Injustice” was also a more serious piece that created a very specific disposition. While reading this, it was easy for me to put myself in the little boy’s situation. I also felt sympathetic towards the boy while reading, and it’s always good to evoke emotion from your reader. The tone in “Injustice” might have been a little harsh for talking about a little boy near the end, though, but your overall job this week was great.

Kayla:

I loved your post “Pure Intelligence.” First off, the idea of cognitive dissonance is interesting in itself, so good job choosing that as a topic. Second, the ending to the story was priceless. I loved how the entire time the teacher was playing it off. There’s no better way of teaching than hands-on. “Invisible Gag” was extremely sad but extremely well written. It definitely evoked a lot of emotion with me and made me feel very sad for the characters involved. The ending to this piece left me hanging a little too much though; I wish the problem in the story would have been resolved to some point. Other than that, your work has a lot of emotional investment and thought put into it. Keep up the good work!

Kimberly:

“You Say You Want A Revolution” was an extremely eye opening piece. I liked that you chose to write about something that truly mattered to you. The fact that you added pictures and gave information about the No-Kill Movement made the whole matter very tangible and easy for the reader to relate to emotionally. "You shouldn't have to pay for your love with your bones and your flesh..." had a very powerful message behind it. Sometimes in writing it’s good to make people uncomfortable, because at least that way you’re getting through to them. That’s what you did with this piece, and it was very successful. I admire your ability to throw yourself into every prompt on a deep and intellectual level, it really makes for a good read.