Week 4 Peer Review

Skylar:

Your post “Cuffin’ the Hot Sauce” was really something (in a good way, though). It was great how strong you stood with your opinions and how you backed up your reasoning. It was also very brave of you to use personal examples from your own parents’ lives, and it really added something to the piece. One thing you might want to consider though it looking at the other side of the story a little bit more, so the readers know you’re not trying to discredit it. Your post “I Love My Dad” was your most creative yet in my opinion. I loved how you set it up; adding the lyrics in while the song is also supposed to be playing in the story. Great job on this one.

Matthew:

I really enjoyed your descriptions in “Somewhere in the Middle of Montana”. You gave very specific examples throughout the whole piece, and readers appreciate it when they can tell the story comes from an authentic place. The tone when you talk about your Grandmother is very sincere, and it really comes through. For this assignment though, there could have been a little bit more connection and reference to the song in the beginning. “Angelo: The Refuse Messiah” was a very creative piece. You hit the prompt dead on and nailed it. Also, the dialogue really added a lot to this piece, making it seem very unadulterated. It’s also apparent you did your research, it definitely comes through in the writing.

Chelsee:

Your post about meeting your biological father was really touching. You really connected the reader into how you felt about the situation and how all of the events took place. The pictures in the post also added a creative element to it. I did see a couple of type-o’s however, but nothing that can’t be fixed by a little proofreading. Your post on gun laws was a good choice of subject since it relates to recent events. Also you offer a good insight on the situation, you could have possibly took a little bit more of a creative approach versus opinion. It was still interesting to read though, which is always one of the main points.

Mariama:

“Princess Lover” was a very sincere and personal post. You did a great job at giving examples in the story that made it very special. I also liked how you weaved the lyrics into your writing, showing how they really connected to the story. I might suggest you just proofread your work a little more in the future though, for grammatical errors. In your “Newsworthy” post, it was great how you connected yourself to the incident. Saying where you were and how you reacted when the event occurred adds a new dimension to your writing. You mention your post that the shooter was an “atheist and smoked marijuana”. Although this could be a true fact, it might not be necessary to mention in your writing. Many other people are Atheists (and smoke marijuana) that wouldn’t ever commit a crime like this. It sort of sounds like stereotyping, even if you didn’t mean to. Good job overall this week, though!