Week 11 Peer Review

John:

You’re definitely good at picking out topics that people are going to be interested in while reading. Your “Unusual Place” post was pretty fascinating. At first I expected it to be about all of the horrible things that happen in prison. Instead, you pointed out how some things about this particular institution weren’t so bad. It was an unexpected and enthralling twist. Your first and third person variations were good as well; it was easy for me to switch from one point of view to another in my head as I read them. One thing I might have suggested with this post is getting a little more in depth on the emotions and describe not only what’s going on physically, but also in the head of the person’s point of view.

Kayla:
I really enjoyed your posts this week. You have a gift for being very descriptive in a way that doesn’t bore the reader; on the contrary, it adds so much to your stories. “Lunch Time and the Anxious Consumer” was interesting for me to read; I’ve never thought of walking into a restaurant or ordering food to be stressful. But after reading this post, I can see how it would be, and totally understand the situation for a different point of view. I really liked the reference to being a fish in a fish tank, also. Both of the “A Thousand Words” posts were very artistic and delicate, making them a unique read. I really like how you focused a lot on the intensity of that one moment of connection with the painting. Something I might suggest for these pieces though is to switch up the middle a little more with the dialogue, instead have keeping it the same.

Kimberly:

You have a very intriguing way of presenting your stories to readers – always giving a little back story and then developing it from there. This is an organized and helpful way to start out your posts, I enjoy it. “The No Man’s Land Mine” exhibited a good topic and ended up being a well executed story. I can imagine how it would have been scary to be alone with just a stranger in the middle of nowhere – and you make a good point to always let someone know where you’re going. “After the Sun Disappears Over the Western Horizon” was a post I could relate to – I’m also extremely night blind. It was neat how you pointed out that it was a special experience, because you’re usually the one driving during the day and didn’t get to experience the beauty until that day. One thing I might suggest with this post would be to switch up the first and third person point of views a bit more, just for a little more variety.